Wednesday, November 6, 2013

No Shave November

My original intent was to post sexy ladies with hairy legs (mostly just pictures of me in mom shorts), but then I found this (click on it!), and I was inspired to make this joke:

If J Crew makes it trendy for people to wear tights that replicate hairy legs, I am going to save so much money on pants from now on.

At first, it was kind of sexy. Guys would nod to each other in solidarity at the camaraderie that comes from having the same dirty looking facial hair for a full month. Manly men, with 5 o'clock shadow that really looked more like 72 hour shadow, would proudly put their arms around the shoulders of their independent women. The patriarchy had found a way to maintain some sort of control, whilst instituting the sexiest form of the upper hand.

I ask you, but mostly I ask me, what well-read feminist can resist a man who refuses to let the women's movement render him weak? Everything is circular. I'm perfectly happy with men going back to being burly. It beats Bro-ey any day.

But, ladies. It's time to take back the night. We've let them have their fun, and we've had plenty of fun ourselves. It's time to level-up. Get off your sexy asses. Turn away from your Pinterest board in homage to the beast that is the hairy male species.

I now declare (as if I had the authority to do so) No Shave November applicable to women. If you're already doing it, come out about it. If you haven't ever tried it, give it a whirl...swirl....curl.

And for the men out there reading this: EVOLVE.


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