Why is it that we live like that? from exciting moment to exciting moment? Since my breakup...I've felt trapped in a world without exciting moments. There was so much going on with Liam...either I was jetting off to London, or he was coming here...and I was going to get to show him around. We traveled so much. We traveled when I lived in London too...even if we didn't leave London. The city was infinitely fascinating. Every weekend, there was a different nook to be explored. An Underground trip to be mapped out. I spent about three hours sitting in one place Monday afternoon wondering what to do with myself...wondering how high my MLGW bill would be if I turned the air down just a little more to keep the sweat off the under side of my knees.
Then some days I get wrapped up in the daily tasks that make life livable. I get carried away in the kitchen, listening to NPR, cleaning up messes...yes...even cleaning out the litter box. Cleaning the shower this Sunday was fabulous...I listened to Showtunes on digital cable. It was so gay (not that there's anything wrong with being....into showtunes)....and by gay I mean...fabulous...FABULOUS. It's really the only way to clean...and listening to NPR is the only way to cook. I'm finally getting well. God, it feels good. I was sick for two freaking weeks. I almost had pinkeye at one point...it was INSANE.
What I'm saying is: It's not SO bad living...just living...and trying to figure out living. It's awesome having the opportunity to roam...and even awesomer having someone to roam with. But sometimes living requires cleaning...the little corners. Getting down on my hands and knees...finding joy in sucking up the ball of fur in the corner of the hallway.
Even though I'm looking forward to something...who knows what. Always....