So, I didn't build a new bike for myself. I folded, and I bought a used bike at Peddler. It is a pink 1989 Schwinn Caliente. It is awesome. Tonight, after being on team awesome at Trivia, I rode it around listening to Beethoven. It was cold, clear, quiet, and gorgeous. I haven't had this much fun on a bike since my black and pink road bike that was stolen from me when I was 13 years old. It is fun. It is the fun.
Yesterday I rode it around in Overton park from about 4:45 until 5:45, and I discovered that there is a moment right when the sun sets in the coldest moments of winter, where the sky is a pale blueish pink color...almost a fleshy color. I know that doesn't make sense, but that's the best way I can think to describe it. It's quiet, and respectful, and understanding, and...perfect.
I thought about a lot of things. I thought about all the people that have crashed through my life. There was a time when I resented the losses I had experienced, but now, more often than not, I feel a deep sense of gratitude. Every one of the people that I have loved and lost has given me something, has left me as someone greater...fuller than I was before. I lean, and it's hard to let go when it ends because of this new part of me. I'm never sure if I'm capable of carrying it around as a part of me, but I am. I am more than capable. All the times I spend complaining or worrying that I am just a product of someone else's musing, I am amazed at how many risks I have allowed myself to take. And maybe I don't move forward. Maybe I end up at the very beginning every time, but inside, I'm miles ahead. Life keeps surprising me. Love keeps changing me. Time keeps guiding my footsteps.
I'll put a picture of my bike up as soon as I find a way to charge my camera battery ('cause my battery was stolen with my computer). =)