Monday, May 12, 2008
The Final Countdown
I had a really good day today. it made me sad to leave london. I spent some time at work just talking with the women I work with...letting them teach me...letting them in. Then I went shopping and admired my new 'city' body...tried not to worry about losing it. roamed around listening to my favorite playlist....thought about all the changes i'd like to make in my life....thought about dinner parties i wanted to have with my girlfriends...thought about making vegan mussaka (spelling!) for vanessa....thought about having pimms with everyone and telling stories about londoners and their strange ways. Had dinner at this GORGEOUS thai restaurant hidden in the back of this pub called 'the churchill'. the pub part is covered in pictures of winston churchill, but the back bit...is an indoor garden...covered in flowers..with marble top tables and delicious, cheap, thai food. i went with a girl from work, her sister, and one of her only friends in london (she's very selective and hates living in a giant city)....we shared a pitcher of pimms and then went to another pub to have a pint. i finally figured this damn city out...and i'm leaving. ah well. i kept trying to think of it this way: i've lived HERE....now i can live anywhere i want. I can handle it. I really can. rather than thinking: woah is me....i'll never have another opportunity like this again. my mom gives me a hard time about not being ready to settle down....but i think that might come from an upbringing that demanded settling down. I don't know if that's in my immediate future...sometimes it feels like it would be nice...but then it feels like it would be nicer to keep growing and changing...and being changed by what the world has to offer me. the trick is...finding someone that wants that too. Surely they exist. surely there is some guy out there that isn't so imprisoned by subconscious patriarchy that he might find it exciting to follow me around to different places...and not even to follow me...but to go WITH me.