I'm back in the whirlwind. I had forgotten how much time and energy is required to make theatre happen. I'm reminded of my days as an undergraduate student. At the end of every semester, I would look back in awe of how I had managed to survive. It's hard to see it when you're in it, though. I feel fine. I don't feel like I'm falling apart or anything. I just feel that if anything shifts, if only slightly, I will. So, I'm trying very carefully to balance.
My least favorite aspect of theatre kids (and I'm speaking as one of them) is their propensity to have competitive conversations about who is the busiest. I used to sit and listen, while drowning in my own hell of too much, to everyone, "You think YOU'RE busy, well I...," blah, blah, blah. I resented it. I still try to stay away from competition. I simply tell people I'm busy, and I'm sorry, but only when I need to. I don't begin to think that I am perhaps more busy and important than anyone else. I'm trying to stop thinking of myself as the star of the only film ever made.
It feels good though. I think that's why we like to talk about it. It gives purpose. It opens our eyes, pushes us to the limit. Makes beer necessary and good. ;)
And busy-ness often leads me back to this: blogging. I may have only an hour to myself every day, but if I can spend it putting my thoughts into words, it is a well spent hour.