Sunday, April 20, 2008

I'm Pretty Sure

That I do not like having a stuffy nose. I mean...the rest of me feels fine, so I suppose I shouldn't be complaining...but the right side of my head feels like it's about ten times bigger than the left (you might expect me, at this point, to go for one of those right brained/left brained jokes...but I shall refrain...and leave the jokes to the professionals). I feel like I'm going to keel over to the right and bang my head on something. It's unpleasant. Also...I've eaten about five prunes today. I've taken to prunes as of late because I find that I enjoy...the benefits of prunes. You can make all the 'old people' jokes you want. I'm walking with a spring in my step and it ain't cause I got Bingo in about an hour.

Today I spent two hours filling out an online application for this Education program I'm trying to get into here in London...and then I pressed save...and everything was erased. It was stunning...magnificent...almost like watching a building implode...except way less cool. Note that I capitalized 'education.' I'm not sure why, but I'm too lazy to go back and change it.

It's finally possibly getting warm across the pond. I keeping mentioning having a cinco de mayo party, but people just look at me blankly and say, "what's 'cinco de mayo?" To which I can only reply, 'It's the fifth of May. You eat Mexican food and drink Margaritas." "Why?" "Uh....because the Mexicans are celebrating something...or the other." "Why?" "Uh...because it's the fifth of May." I am the ultimate...not the best...the ULTIMATE.

The Goonies came on TV over here today. I made Liam and James watch it while we prepared our roast duck for dinner. That's right...roast duck...I'm like royalty. I'm like friggin...Prince William...only way cuter. Liam had seen it before, but seemed to enjoy it much more the second ya do. James seemed to enjoy it right off the bat. Don't worry folks...I'm workin' on it. The Americanisation process can take months, even years.

So yeah...I'm going to lie down now...on my right side...because that's the direction my head is leaning due to the outstanding amount of pressure building up inside my nasal passages. No worries, my lovelies. All will be fine. I've taken some stuffs.



Anonymous said...

You may not care BUT, for all those across the pond who do not "habla":

The 5th of May is not Mexican Independence Day, but it should be! And Cinco de Mayo is not an American holiday, but it should be. Mexico declared its independence from mother Spain on midnight, the 15th of September, 1810. And it took 11 years before the first Spanish soldiers were told and forced to leave Mexico.

So, why Cinco de Mayo? And why should Americans savor this day as well? Because 4,000 Mexican soldiers smashed the French and traitor Mexican army of 8,000 at Puebla, Mexico, 100 miles east of Mexico City on the morning of May 5, 1862.

The French had landed in Mexico (along with Spanish and English troops) five months earlier on the pretext of collecting Mexican debts from the newly elected government of democratic President (and Indian) Benito Juarez. The English and Spanish quickly made deals and left. The French, however, had different ideas.

Under Emperor Napoleon III, who detested the United States, the French came to stay. They brought a Hapsburg prince with them to rule the new Mexican empire. His name was Maximilian; his wife, Carolota. Napoleon's French Army had not been defeated in 50 years, and it invaded Mexico with the finest modern equipment and with a newly reconstituted Foreign Legion. The French were not afraid of anyone, especially since the United States was embroiled in its own Civil War.

The French Army left the port of Vera Cruz to attack Mexico City to the west, as the French assumed that the Mexicans would give up should their capital fall to the enemy -- as European countries traditionally did.

General Zaragosa ordered Colonel Diaz to take his cavalry, the best in the world, out to the French flanks. In response, the French did a most stupid thing; they sent their cavalry off to chase Diaz and his men, who proceeded to butcher them. The remaining French infantrymen charged the Mexican defenders through sloppy mud from a thunderstorm and through hundreds of head of stampeding cattle stirred up by Indians armed only with machetes.

When the battle was over, many French were killed or wounded and their cavalry was being chased by Diaz' superb horsemen miles away. The Mexicans had won a great victory that kept Napoleon III from supplying the confederate rebels for another year, allowing the United States to build the greatest army the world had ever seen. This grand army smashed the Confederates at Gettysburg just 14 months after the battle of Puebla, essentially ending the Civil War.

Union forces were then rushed to the Texas/Mexican border under General Phil Sheridan, who made sure that the Mexicans got all the weapons and ammunition they needed to expel the French. American soldiers were discharged with their uniforms and rifles if they promised to join the Mexican Army to fight the French. The American Legion of Honor marched in the Victory Parade in Mexico, City.

It might be a historical stretch to credit the survival of the United States to those brave 4,000 Mexicans who faced an army twice as large in 1862. But who knows?

In gratitude, thousands of Mexicans crossed the border after Pearl Harbor to join the U.S. Armed Forces. As recently as the Persian Gulf War, Mexicans flooded American consulates with phone calls, trying to join up and fight another war for America.

Mexicans, you see, never forget who their friends are. (While we Americans are trying to keep them from immigrating here and taking all those primo crop pickin' jobs). el VIVA CINCO DE MAYO!

love, vanessa

Anonymous said...

So, where is the Alamo in all this? I love refried beans and spanish rice. Rose (rosaaaaa)wine, cheese enchalidas, etc.) I'm trite, I know. I know.

Vanessa, loved your history lesson!

Caroline, sorry to hear you still have allergies in England. There is truly no justice in... geography.

I love you, my child.

Nancy Caroline said...

I was SO hoping someone would fill me in on the significance of Cinco De Mayo!

Anonymous said...

I thought Vanessa did? Did I miss something there?

Yes, Your Mother

Nancy Caroline said...

Yes mother...she did...and that's what prompted my response. It wasn't a was a yelp of glee.

Anonymous said...

As usual! I acted foolishly. You win, again!

Anonymous said...

Do Italian kitties sound different than American kitties? Do they have an intriguing accent?

Is your stuffy nose allergy related? That's the price that I've paid for warm weather here. But I can pop the pills if it means 70 degrees and no jacket! I hope that your nose is noticeably better today.