Monday, May 12, 2008

The Final Countdown

I had a really good day today. it made me sad to leave london. I spent some time at work just talking with the women I work with...letting them teach me...letting them in. Then I went shopping and admired my new 'city' body...tried not to worry about losing it. roamed around listening to my favorite playlist....thought about all the changes i'd like to make in my life....thought about dinner parties i wanted to have with my girlfriends...thought about making vegan mussaka (spelling!) for vanessa....thought about having pimms with everyone and telling stories about londoners and their strange ways. Had dinner at this GORGEOUS thai restaurant hidden in the back of this pub called 'the churchill'. the pub part is covered in pictures of winston churchill, but the back bit...is an indoor garden...covered in flowers..with marble top tables and delicious, cheap, thai food. i went with a girl from work, her sister, and one of her only friends in london (she's very selective and hates living in a giant city)....we shared a pitcher of pimms and then went to another pub to have a pint. i finally figured this damn city out...and i'm leaving. ah well. i kept trying to think of it this way: i've lived HERE....now i can live anywhere i want. I can handle it. I really can. rather than thinking: woah is me....i'll never have another opportunity like this again. my mom gives me a hard time about not being ready to settle down....but i think that might come from an upbringing that demanded settling down. I don't know if that's in my immediate future...sometimes it feels like it would be nice...but then it feels like it would be nicer to keep growing and changing...and being changed by what the world has to offer me. the trick is...finding someone that wants that too. Surely they exist. surely there is some guy out there that isn't so imprisoned by subconscious patriarchy that he might find it exciting to follow me around to different places...and not even to follow me...but to go WITH me.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am not responding at this moment to the actual content of this post. But I am telling you to go to http://haydenandapryl.com/caroline-messages/caroline-audio-messages.html for some good wishes. I'll get to the other messages tonight and reload some of them after I figure out how to make the audio levels better.

Apryl

Anonymous said...

Okay. That whole link won't show unless I put some line breaks in. So you'll have to copy and paste all the pieces into your browser's address bar.

http://haydenandapryl.com/
caroline-messages/
caroline-audio-messages.html

Apryl

Nancy Caroline said...

I am so overwhelmed with support...i can't even begin to describe it.

Anonymous said...

I am glad that your last day was filled with good experiences. But try not to feel like you just now figured it out. We always feel like that when we're about to leave somewhere. No matter how much trouble we've had somewhere, we start to romanticize the place because it's familiar and we're not sure what lies ahead. But what is ahead is probably even better, even though it will come with its own set of challenges.

On another note, I fixed the audio levels on some messages and recorded the rest of mine. So check back at the URL I gave earlier. Happy listening. heehee

Apryl

sunshine award winner said...

so when are you coming home . . .to Memphis. . .I need a day and time . . . please.

Vanessa said...

on your myspace is a vid that is of the song I listen to whenever down.
;)

Janna said...

Caroline, you're a superhero.

Anonymous said...

I am a very old friend who has recently stumbled upon this while pretending to be busy at work. Caroline, there is absolutely nothing in this world that will keep you down. Walk off the plane with your held held HIGH. Prepare for your next adventure. God bless you for sharing your life. Now go write a book or something. Your talent is totally wasted on the unwashed miscreants that read it here.

latech1982 said...

yep stumbled here too! link up to my blog and keep in touch! Just let the next adventure happen! It will be great and I'll bet midtown/downtown is full of adventures....unlike collierville! boooo!!! hahaha take care!! and don't forget to add or keep in touch ...

Nancy Caroline said...

to anonymous person #1: Who are you? I'm curious about 'old friends.' Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Finally, I hope you weren't referring to my friends that comment on my blog when you said 'unwashed miscreants'. These people are my life raft. Maybe you were referring to the readers of web logs in general. That would make more sense.

Anonymous said...

From "Anonymous #1".

Unwashed miscreants was a reference to 10 Things I Hate
About You. I love that movie and assume everyone else watches it every 3 months on TNT. Had nothing to do with the lovely people here. Apologies all around. I forgot my rule: never ever type anything that isn't 100% sincere, because anything that ends with a period reads that way.

Doesn't matter who I am. Just a friend who cares about you and is going through a tough time too.

Welcome back to the states, and good luck with whatever comes next.

diana said...

just so you know, caroline, I care not to be your life raft; rather, I wish to be the beer coozy hanging off your neck. you'd make it down the river without me, but it's more fun if I'm there.